Ah, the building name issue within our U of M

I have long suggested that college administrators probably lose sleep over "naming" issues on campus. What happens when we run out of things to name on a campus? One of the fundamental problems is this: do we name something based on contributions a particular deceased person made to the life of the campus? Or, do we name something just based on a particular individual being able to sign a big check?
I think we have seen examples of both on our UMM campus. The naming questions are benign here, not stoking division. Administrators over at the Twin Cities campus would love to be relieved of such division. They probably lie awake at night wondering why so much stuff has to be named after people in the first place. There are four buildings on the Twin Cities campus in focus for this.
The U is having to re-examine a "racist history," according to an October article in the Minnesota Daily. The buildings bear names of "controversial figures." Why were those names assigned in the first place? Well, we must have been a racist nation at the time.
Consistency on these issues is impossible. We have buildings or monuments in our nation's capital named for dudes who owned slaves. To offer a cliche, "enough said." Jim Morrison at our Morris paper once commented on a UMM administrator using the expression "enough said" at the end of a thought piece. What it means, Morrison said in his gimlet way, is that "no further discussion is needed." If only the roiling issue at the august main campus of the U could be dismissed, just so everyone could get back to standard business.
Annoying little political issues seem almost to be the stock in trade within the U sometimes. Oh, I sympathize not at all with the deceased dudes who have their names adorning buildings, but you can argue that naming is a superficial issue, one easily ignored. But no, we have our U of M examining its navel. (And it's "navel" not "naval.")
Someone argued that the U has seen fit to scrub Garrison Keillor's name. Yet, as I pointed out, we have our hallowed nation's founders memorialized despite the fact some owned slaves. The tradition of naming buildings at all has to continue, I guess, because this is often incentive for families to bequeath tons of money. The Morrison family of Morris has done this.
Do I say this skeptically? Well no, because I too have gotten on board with contributing funds, following the Morrisons' example totally. Haven't gotten anything named yet. Might that be in the cards? You just never know. It isn't important that I personally get any recognition. I even turned down an opportunity to be interviewed by the U's "Legacy" magazine. Some of the usual pompous asses of Morris will be relieved to know I don't want any attention for myself. But my last name has value. I bear that name whether you all like it or not.
The U of M has been through a long process, typical of a bureaucracy - heh, heh - and the matter appears stalled in murky waters. At issue at the U: Coffman Memorial Union, Coffey Hall, Nicholson Hall and Middlebrook Hall. A deadline for decision-making has been pushed back. The Daily tells us this is "the third missed deadline in four months." Let's update by looking at a March 1 article from the Daily: U President Eric Kaler has recommended re-naming four buildings. Kaler is suggesting temporary new names.
The bureaucratic wheels keep turning in the tortoise-like way, as Kaler and Provost Karen Hanson will appoint a permanent advisory committee on University history. So much ado about a really superficial thing.
On our own UMM campus, we have the theater in the HFA named for Ray Lammers. I'm not sure if the naming was done to simply honor the late theater man - this would be the best reason - or if money incentive was involved. A source told me once that some alums had to become assertive to get this naming accomplished, as if administration was somewhat halting about it. Why would administration be halting?
No one wants to suggest that Ray Lammers wasn't a huge asset and worthy of remembering. But then we have precedent and consistency, two things that administrators cannot avoid in future discussions. Jim Carlson created the Jazz Fest which for many years appeared to be the biggest annual event on campus. You'd see these buses from out of town around Morris. Edson would get packed on multiple nights. Is the Jazz Fest down to just one night now? Maybe something should get named after Carlson. That's a wholly nice thought. But as the years go by, UMM could recite lots of people who made huge contributions to campus life.
I understand there is a portion of the Big Cat Stadium complex named for Brian Curtis. I am dubious about that. I don't think his contributions were that extensive, long-lasting or important. Maybe it was done just because he formed the proper bond with a lot of the movers and shakers in local sports - something that I never did. I did have a bond with the late Perry Ford.
Edson Hall has a veil of confusion now because it's part of an entity named for the Morrisons. I'm still not sure how that entity is to be differentiated from the auditorium itself. No one has edified me. When I first heard about the Edson Hall improvement project - and I'm not really sure how that place has been improved so much - I was told by a good source that an "anonymous donation" was responsible. There must have been some re-thinking later on this.
Again I think administrators hate to ruminate on such matters, even though they wouldn't want to admit it, and would profess publicly that they're delighted to honor the names of people capable of writing such big checks. I think in an ideal world, they'd love to be relieved of the naming issue entirely. I'd make a wager on it.
Kaler said "I would like to continue hearing from the University community and engaging (with various people)." Oh no he wouldn't. I think he would rather swallow shards of glass than to continue dealing with it. Maybe the best response to the issues is to say "it's nice to see a campus building named for Amir Coffey of the Gophers." I remember watching Amir's father Richard playing for the Timberwolves back in Target Center's very first year.
My own $ contribution to the U is in the names, of course, of my deceased parents. This is something I felt I absolutely had to do. And if any of you wish to add to the Ralph and Martha Williams Fund at UMM, I'd be delighted. For years it was the Morrisons who paid me generously at the Morris newspaper, and I shouldn't just hold on to all that. I have no spouse or significant other, no children, only a small number of relatives with whom I am not intimate, and no real friends. I have to stand for something. So I simply must ensure that my parents are memorialized at UMM. So we have the Fund in their name which is perpetually endowed.
My own status means absolutely nothing, my critics should be assured.
Someday when I pass on, I'm not sure I even want my ashes placed at our family plot. It might not be appropriate. I once got yelled at by a Summit Cemetery attendant when I was simply trying to get my mother a little closer to our monument, because her mobility had become so limited. The incident showed why handicapped accessibility has become so essential in our society - our cemetery is not handicapped accessible. You might say "well, how can a cemetery be handicapped accessible, you dumb s--t." Many people in this town talk like that.
Well, I would argue that we are in a world now where everything has to be handicapped accessible. If something cannot be made handicapped accessible, then we must retire these things to the dustbin of history. No more cemeteries? Yes, that's right. No more "traditional funerals" because they cost way too much. When my parents went on to the next life, that's all that mattered, not some rock in a cemetery.
Just wait, my idea will take flight. There was a time when we never could have expected that smoking was going to be banned everywhere like in restaurants. Changes do happen.
 
Addendum: I remember when the rumor floated around town that the then-new 1991 gym at Morris Area High School might be named for Robert Mulder. That's a curious gym because it was a big deal for a very short time, after which it seemed to get forgotten. Is it equipped for major varsity events? It's way over on a corner of the school campus, so it's easy to miss or overlook. It's really an expansive facility. I thought it was a big deal but I guess I was wrong, because before long we got a whole new varsity gym built, as part of a project that was initially billed as "a new elementary school." I remember the late Tony O'Keefe shaking his head and saying "they're building a new high school." Did we need a new band room and choir room? Anyway, the Mulder name never got attached to the 1991 gym, so it's unfortunate the rumor took flight. He actually left here in an air of ignominy. To the extent our school system might have had problems then, I don't blame him, I blame the superintendent.
- Brian Williams - morris mn minnesota -  bwilly73@yahoo.com