Somber anniversary: Mom's death in 2018

Martha Williams at right with her mother Hilda and identical twin nephews Allan and Norman, sons of Edwin (Mom's brother) and Doris Ohlson of California

Mom has been gone for two years now. Her passing was on April 24 of 2018. What would she think of the pandemic we are currently experiencing? She had seen a lot including the Depression and WWII years. She had to abort college (at Hamline) because of the sudden passing of her father Andrew due to a stroke.
Three of my four grandparents were gone at the time I came into the world in 1955. My mother's mother Hilda lived with us in Morris until her passing in 1963. She came down with a stroke in our house and died at the Morris hospital. My mom and dad passed away right in our house with me within feet of them. Mom spent six weeks in a nursing home before returning home for the last year of her life.
Mom grew up in pretty humble circumstances in Brainerd MN. I remember in the '70s we'd drive by her old home place. Hers was a family not with lots of material blessings but surely with love.
Andrew had a first wife named Johanek who died in 1920 at age 46. Mom's sister-in-law Doris, still with us today in California, tells me that to her knowledge, Andrew and Johanek had no children.
I knew nothing about Johanek until observing the Evergreen Cemetery website, Brainerd. Perhaps a real genealogy "buff" could learn more about her - I think it's sad I cannot. Her life left barely an imprint based on what we can learn today. No one should be in that position.
So my grandfather Andrew began his family of three children with Hilda when he was at an advanced age for this. Mom graduated from Washington High School in Brainerd in 1942 when our nation was of course plunged into wartime. Her formative years were when FDR was guiding the country like an essential patriarch. The nation was trying to shed vestiges of the Depression. Both my parents went through life with the cautious traits of people who experienced the Depression.
I think they made me a little too scared of spending money. They'd come with me for clothes buying and they'd insist that I get items I could "grow into." That might mean I'd look dorky in the short term. But the clothes had to last a maximum amount of time, thus to be a practical purchase. Clothes seemed expensive in my childhood relative to other things. That's quite in contrast with today.
Clothing is bought today to feel comfortable so you don't have to worry about judgments based on style. Nor does anyone have to worry about how they dress for going to church. Again, quite a different situation when I was young. A male usher dressed in suit and tie would greet you at the church sanctuary and lead you to the suggested seating place in the pews. Today there are no ushers. Someone dressed totally casual might be there to hand you your weekly bulletin, male or female, young or old. Oh, and that's great. Except that it might be nice seeing more people in church.
Our family church is First Lutheran in Morris, a church that seems challenged with numbers and finances. Still lots of humanity and love of course, the things that really matter. We are considered a politically liberal church today, fine by me, but lots of people seem influenced by political thought leaders to eschew such a place and to vote for Donald Trump.
Can you imagine how my mom Martha would react to Trump? I wouldn't even allow her to hear a news report about the "Access Hollywood" tape. She grew up when people were supposed to be proper. We were supposed to be ashamed of our base mortal impulses. We were supposed to ask forgiveness for such things.
I sent Mom on many motorcoach tours, one of which was to Washington D.C. It was when the FDR memorial was just getting finished. I told her that if it was not on the itinerary, she should ask about the possibility of visiting. It was done. Mom took a photo of the sculpture of FDR that had his dog "Fala" at his side. My father was always amused by the FDR comment "you can criticize me all you want but don't criticize my dog." Fala is not as well remembered today. There are references in the 1960s comedy movie "McHale's Navy Joins the Air Force."

Mom at left w/ sister Mildred

A dog is such a comforting part of life. Mom grew up with "Teddy" who she said was really her brother Edwin's dog. She said that when Edwin left to join the military for the war, Teddy was deflated and it seemed to contribute to his passing.
My father Ralph joined the Navy and served as lieutenant in the Pacific Theater. I don't know to what extent he would have been involved in "Operation Downfall," the planned land invasion of Japan. Maybe his life was saved by the atomic bomb along with the lives of so many others. Tragically, Stevens County lost the life of Floyd Lange who was on the USS Luce when it was struck by a Kamikaze pilot in the closing stages.
We remember the sacrifice of such souls on Memorial Day. But how wonderful if the war had not been fought. A thought: If the current pandemic had happened in 1942, would it have totally shut down the war?
 
Eerily beautiful
Have you seen the photos that show major cities looking so clean now without the air pollution? In an eerie sort of way they look nice, look desirable. Would that we could live in such a clean world without sacrifices in the economy. I have wondered if extraterrestrials planted the virus as a way of saving the planet, a scenario just like in the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still." Anyone have any better theories about how the virus came about?
We hear the staggering numbers of nursing home casualties. Alas, the lives seem to become like "statistics" by their end. All of us, whether we admit it or not, have the thought "well, those people were pretty close to the end anyway." A pox on us but we're human. How concerning for me if such a bug had come along when my mom was at Barrett Care Center. It was just six weeks but it seems longer in my mind.
Knute Nelson Hospice became like family for us in the ensuing months. And yes it could be difficult at times. Mom went through several significant health issues. It was a learning process for me sometimes. She had her first UTI at the time of the men's chorus reunion at UMM. I was not aware that this condition can cause some mental instability.
I learned about ulcerative colitis for which pills were prescribed, successfully twice. It was like a godsend for those pills to work. Dr. Barnstuble did yeoman's work with a patient who was on the downslide of life, for whom there were not going to be nice tidy answers all the time, to say the least. The doctor rolled up his sleeves and applied his best judgment. So kudos to him and to Dr. Sam.
A pivotal moment in Mom's life was on a Fourth of July, I remember, when I just happened to be looking at her when she reached up to her left shoulder and made a face indicating pain. She had always said "no" to a mammogram. She was advised by her doctor previous to Barnstuble that she "probably" had cancer. I guess I should have asserted myself sooner.
After seeing her on that Fourth of July project pain, that was it! But even then, I postponed the mammogram a week because I read skeptical things online about mammograms. But then we went ahead and did it, at SCMC. Dr. Sam operated on her. Several years earlier Dr. Sam operated on Mom for "adhesions" when her symptoms seemed as though she might be dying. Dr. Sam was a miracle worker with all his work.

Martha (left) w/ siblings Edwin, Mildred

Mom made it all the way to age 93 and was about a month away from 94. Twice she had been whisked to St. Cloud Hospital for urgent heart issues, urgent to say the least I might add. Her heart stopped twice one morning before she was rushed to St. Cloud. She had a pacemaker put in.
So many memories come back at the anniversary of her passing on a tranquil spring day in 2018. The funeral service was wonderful. At present a funeral cannot even be held. Will the whole custom of funerals change permanently? Who knows?
Mom grew up in a foreboding world that had the Depression. No one could have known for sure what the future would hold. We are right back in the same circumstances today. Mom would totally understand. She would understand fully the vicissitudes of life, and more importantly that God would always be watching over us. Martha Williams, RIP.
- Brian Williams - morris mn minnesota - bwillhy73@yahoo.com