U.S. Civil War: remote in time but compelling

It seems almost ghoulish that whole libraries can be filled with books on the U.S. Civil War, whereas if war could have been averted, the 1860s would be a yawn in the history books with perhaps one shelf sufficing. I used to be on mailing lists for booksellers with whole extensive sections of Civil War books. Today I have tried to get off mailing lists of all kinds because of our emerging paperless society.

I'm sure if you typed any common term connected to the Civil War into a search engine, you'd get reams. It seems obvious: conflict mesmerizes us. But the Civil War is fading ever more into a very distant past. Why the lure? Author Tony Horwitz has a theory. The Civil War, the intrepid journalist suggests, was the last war to be fought by human beings. This was before massive industrial inroads enabled the killing of human beings "with industrial efficiency," Horwitz writes. (He's the author of "Confederates in the Attic.")
So we had wide sweeping pageantry and drama in this uniquely American "brother vs. brother" conflict. The sheer grisly nature of the war doesn't distract us now. We are too distanced by time. Even people who had ancestors die or get hurt in the conflict aren't touched on an intimate level, such is the gap of time. So today we focus on the tactics and personalities in the way that Americans have always been fascinated by competition.
The battle of Gettysburg is iconic. At the time, its principals never dreamt this conflict would have such status. It was another in a string of horrible battles in which the South was pugnacious and basically trying to get the North weary of the suffering to the point where a peace could be negotiated. This peace, in the South's view, would at least grant the South leverage on certain issues if not outright sovereignty. The word "rebellion" was assailed as Union propaganda at the time. But after considerable reading I feel the term is entirely fair.
If the South were really a would-be autonomous nation, why did it never have a discernible sense of geographic boundaries? The Mason-Dixon line was more of an academic exercise that was like drawing a boundary on a dodgeball court. And to the west? The west was a wholly wide-open proposition.
It was after the Civil War that the Federals decided that Gettysburg would be the symbolic battle. Many of the units put their memorials there. Interestingly even the South didn't shun this. There are memorials all over the place including one to the First Minnesota Regiment. A replica of that memorial is at Summit Cemetery here in Morris. It's perhaps the most overlooked landmark in our community. It's called the "Running Rifleman" statue (or Sam Smith statue) and is one of the most artistically striking memorial designs in connection to that battle.
The First Minnesota, composed of loggers and immigrants attracted to our then-wild state, had an essential role in the Union success at Gettysburg. A horrible sacrifice was required. General Winfield Hancock ordered the First Minnesota to plug an opening in the Union line, essentially buying time for the Federals. It was a successful maneuver but it was accomplished at horrible cost. It wasn't as glamorous as the bayonet charge directed by Joshua Chamberlain on Little Round Top. Those were Maine boys.
The Battle of Gettysburg has been placed under a microscope with authors and artists exploring no end to its twists, pivotal moments and sub-plots. One of the best books I've ever read is "The Killer Angels" by the late Michael Shaara, Pulitzer Prize winner, which is an historical novel on the battle. Celebrated as that book is, it has been predictably picked apart by obsessive Civil War devotees who allege that certain details aren't quite right.
Civil War artists are likewise under tremendous pressure to make their work historically accurate down to the finest details. At least one contrarian in this field suggests, though, that "art" has no such accuracy prerequisite. "Art" can take license on a variety of fronts, while only the sub-specialty of "illustration" might demand flawless accuracy.
So what do I think of all the obsessive analysis and attempts to document? I'm reminded of two things. First, there's the privilege that generals have of writing definitive historical works after-the-fact, even though they have CYA motivations (cover-your-whatever). These august figures who are used to so much deference don't want to admit how chaotic and disorganized most battles are as they develop. Secondly, I'm reminded of Andy Rooney of CBS News, who was an eyewitness to part of World War Two. Rooney said of a certain theater in that war that it was "a mess" from an Allied standpoint, not the methodical march forward as might be suggested in books.
War can never be neatly organized because you're fighting a foe who is trying to use deception as much as you are. In the end, the winning side usually just masses resources to the point that it cannot be stopped. The Union had those resources in the Civil War. The South's only hope was for some type of negotiated peace where concessions could be gained. But no, President Abraham Lincoln hired U.S. Grant to do a job, plain and simple, and that was to wage "Total War" and give no ground.
Grant treated his mission in a wholly businesslike way and had no interest in the pageantry of war or "gentlemanly" traditions. This was a war of attrition in which the North knew it had superior numbers. The battle of Cold Harbor was the epitome of Northern sacrifice. Today we read about such conflicts from a comfortable distance. Back then it was unspeakable horror.
Think of the conflagration that the "Running Rifleman" was running toward. Today it suggests glory more than tragedy as the latter has been suppressed with time. We all ought to focus on the truth.
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com

APBA baseball gave dice rolls special life

Rolling the dice is something I normally associate with a gang that shows up at Don's Cafe most mornings. Bill Dripps is a "regular." I'm not a daily patron anymore but I assume the ritual lives. I would sometimes flinch, such was the force with which these guys slammed the dice cup on the table.
Life can be like a roll of the dice. Craps is the fastest moving game in Las Vegas and it's built around dice. "No dice" is a popular expression. It's hard to duplicate the suspense of a dice roll, so it's no surprise that the old APBA baseball simulation game had such appeal for a generation of young men. It was clearly a male hobby.
The game reconstructed major league baseball, as you could type boxscores and game summaries afterward that would appear totally real. It was clearly an "analog" type of hobby that has been totally shoved aside in our digital, computer-oriented age. Simulations today can be performed in mind-boggling fashion thanks to computers.
APBA was a hobby in my sometimes-wandering youth, and I kept the game pieces around into adult years to occasionally sample this "retro guilty pleasure."
Dave Barry once wrote "there is a fine line between having a hobby and mental illness." His intent was humor but he was pointing out the odd contradiction in being committed to something with no apparent tangible dividends. In my case APBA may have helped shape writing skills and discipline with organizing data in written form. Of course I have previously suggested that comic books had their own dividends. I would suggest we don't know sometimes when we're learning.
I never liked the name "APBA," pronounced as if it were a word and not a series of initials. It was awkward. The creator had a little story behind the name but I didn't care. I always felt I needed to apologize for the awkwardness of this name when telling friends about it. "App-bah." A marketer couldn't have signed off on this.
The APBA game itself was fascinating. I refer to it in the past tense because I gather it only exists in vestigial form today.
APBA came out with a computer version many years ago. But it's sort of like "newspapers going online." Of course they can, but why not forget about the old models completely and create wholly new ones with the new assets at our disposal? The name "APBA," or its rival "Strat-o-matic," might have had some legacy/retro value for a while. Then they become vulnerable to capitalism's "creative destruction." Local public official Charlie Glasrud (attorney) says he was a Strat-o-matic enthusiast.
Our old games moved at a snail's pace but didn't baseball itself? There was a beauty in the simple structure of these games, a structure that allowed you to see their nuts, bolts and probabilities. There had to be a little self-starter in you. Having a card for each player was a charm that cannot be duplicated today on a computer. The data on each card gave that player a firm personality.
My description of the APBA mechanics will be pretty basic: Each card has numbers that correspond to dice rolls, with 36 possibilities presented on each roll. There is a red die and a smaller white die. A roll yields a two-digit number. The best offensive results can be expected when you roll two 6s ("boxcars"). The second best come with two 1s ("snake eyes") and third best with two 3s. Pitchers are divided into four basic categories represented by grades A through D. All phases of the game are represented in one way or another.
There was a magazine tying together APBA enthusiasts: the APBA Journal. The Journal was young when I discovered the hobby and was put together in a primitive way in that pre-desktop publishing time. Its creators were a pair of brothers, last name of Gaydos, in San Mateo, California.
APBA was an extremely niche hobby that could puzzle many people if you attempted to explain it. An APBA Journal contributor once suggested that if you had an unexpected visitor at your home when you had all your APBA stuff lying out, you should make up a story about "working on your taxes." Being honest might prompt the kind of thoughts Dave Barry shared.
The APBA Journal was run in the end by Eric Naftaly, who was nice enough to send a lengthy letter when I contacted him about buying some current issues. This was in about 2000, when I think the Internet and all its ramifications were more than just on the horizon.
Not long after my correspondence with Naftaly, the Journal, like I imagine all niche hobby publications, bit the dust and went online. No more postal expenses. Just a big brimming invitation to all enthusiasts to join the community.
The type of people drawn to APBA in its heyday would be computer "geeks" today.
APBA baseball is like popular music "unplugged" with acoustic guitars. It has beauty in its simplicity. No computer sifting through reams of data and just spitting out results. Each at-bat had significance.
As with real-life baseball, each game was unique like a snowflake. And I loved compiling a boxscore and game summary just like you'd see in the newspaper. I had no computer back then to type it all out and make it look professional. Today I have computer access so I'll share for you the summary of an APBA simulation game involving the 1965 Minnesota Twins (who won the pennant) and Detroit Tigers.
You can almost detect that curious odor of beer and cigarettes wafting through the old Metropolitan Stadium air. Or the airliners occasionally roaring overhead. Or the Registry Hotel in the distance. Or the Howard Johnson's across the street from the outfield parking area. I can imagine the "dollar size" beer i.e. the "large size" sold at concessions. The hot dogs, the infield crew, the organist etc.
The environs of Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington were different in many ways from the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. It wasn't all good, to be sure, because the elements could be a problem. But it had its charms. I invite you to remember these charms as you read the following game review, a game played with those fascinating dice rolls of the "unplugged" APBA era:

Bloomington - Jimmie Hall broke a tie score in the most abrupt and decisive way possible, connecting for a grand slam in the bottom of the sixth. This exclamation point of a blast gave the host Twins the key momentum en route to their 8-2 win over the Detroit Tigers on a cool, still evening.
The Minnesota rally in the sixth began with one out. Jerry Kindall singled off Detroit lefty Hank Aguirre, putting the wheels in motion, then Joe Nossek singled which advanced Kindall to third. Nossek sped into second with a steal.
Tony Oliva trotted down to first base with an intentional walk, which set up the force play at all the bases. But there was no force opportunity in the offing, as Jim Kaat, the good hitting pitcher called upon in this instance to pinch hit (for fellow pitcher Al Worthington), went down on strikes.
With two outs, Aguirre sought to put out the fire with Hall waving the bat at the plate. But power merchant Hall found an Aguirre pitch to his liking and made Aguirre pay, sending the ball into the seats. The decisive swing put manager Sam Mele's crew out in front 6-2, and this was a pretty satisfying cushion for the capable Twins pitchers who were available in the bullpen.
A total of five pitchers saw work for Minnesota. Worthington had a stint of one and two-thirds innings and was awarded the win. Dick Stigman, the big lefty from Nimrod, Minnesota, was the final Twins hurler and he worked out of jams in each of the last three innings.
Detroit got the bases loaded with nobody out in the eighth. Stigman got Don Demeter to fly out to center field, and after that a double play polished things off nicely from Zoilo Versalles (shortstop) to Jerry Kindall (second) to Bob Allison (first).
Detroit's only runs came on a two-run triple by Willie Horton in the third.
Fans departed "the Met" with abundant satisfaction. Their team appears to have the magic in '65.

How about that? The Twins of today are headed back outdoors again, ready to play amid the elements but presumably without quite the haze of booze and smoke odors that we picked up in that bygone time.
The new field and environs are engineered to minimize the effects of undesirable weather elements. Games can continue in the rain or so we're told. We'll find out soon whether the new Target Field will live up to its billing and whether the 2010 Minnesota Twins will be anything special.
Some historical footnotes about APBA baseball: This game was developed by the late Dick Seitz of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He was inspired by being a fan of the Philadelphia Phillies in the 1950s. I write that he "developed" rather than "created" this game because there is some controversy here.
Hobby devotees eventually learned that Seitz found the fundamental concept of his game in a pre-existing simulation called "National Pastime." The revelation brought mixed feelings but I was never upset. Seitz worked strenuously developing innovations that in effect created a whole new game, plus he was a tireless marketer. Reading his life story, in fact, reminds of the fundamental entrepreneurial American spirit (beginning in his basement etc.).
Richard Seitz, RIP.
Seitz groomed a successor, Fritz Light, who was introduced to devotees in a Journal photo in which he sported extreme pork-shop sideburns (in the mid-1970s, just like Lee Swanson in his mayoral campaign poster in Morris at the same time).
Light held on until the onslaught of the tech revolution that changed all the rules and rendered his game an "analog" type of throwback. He eventually departed.
A few "dinosaurs" still roll the dice and they might just claim that it has something to do with taxes!
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com

April Fool's Day lowers its profile

I can remember when the Martin twins, Sharon and Sheila, brought noisemakers to the Met Lounge to celebrate the "eve" of April Fool's Day. Pretty innovative. Pretty consistent with the irreverent inclinations of the Martins, whose patriarch Willie has left us. I'm sure Willie is sharing his trademark "love ya" in heaven.
April Fool's Day is certainly not a holiday. So what is it? One could easily Google the topic or perhaps to to Wikipedia. I don't care so much about the history as I do about assessing its present. April Fool's Day does not seem to get the attention it once did. Google changed its name for a day but it isn't unusual for Google to apply some sort of wrinkle on its home page. It doesn't qualify as a prank because no one was fooled.
Pranks are waning in our culture. Pranks that can be genuinely hurtful are especially on the wane. The trend has developed at the same rate as political correctness. And it has mirrored the growth of our litigious tendencies. An ambitious prank might bring a lawsuit today. People are less inclined to laugh at ambitious pranks or to think them justified by any criteria.
I remember when Keith Kirwin discovered a major winning lottery ticket (called "Megabucks") and thought he had hit the jackpot, only to be deflated when learning (belatedly) it was a prank. It's my understanding that it wasn't taken in stride real well. I was even called as a media person on this, and I was allowed to come and go (at DeToy's Restaurant) and collect the info without anyone tapping me on the shoulder to let me in on the joke. I eventually found out through a phone call from the spouse of one of the perpetrators.
Based on what I learned about that incident, it could be grounds for a lawsuit.
Large companies have "employee manuals" nowadays that have no sense of humor at all. They encourage behavior that would make us into faceless, humorless automatons. Pranks are so contrary to the contemporary corporate ethos. Is it fair to say they're tied to the old chauvinistic male culture?
If in fact pranks recede, that's fine with me. They can be retired along with cigarettes and the "cocktail hour." Perhaps they have been historically tied to the fraternity and sorority culture. I viewed that culture only from a distance when in college. I never cared for it but I've never claimed that my tastes should be universal. I saw that culture as one in which social acceptance was based on so many arbitrary things. It seemed like a culture of tribalism with divisions drawn for no rational reason.
I knew a sorority member once (from Concordia of Moorhead) who evaluated her peers on the silliest of criteria.
"Hazing" is quite consistent with a prankster mindset but there is absolutely nothing funny about that. I have been mystified by hazing and those occasional sensational incidents when someone is seriously hurt. Young people join the frat culture voluntarily so all I can do is continue to shrug my shoulders. As for the far more innocuous April Fool's Day, I'm always "on guard" when that day arrives, lest I come upon some jackpot lottery ticket, so I'm not too fearful of getting hurt.
In a sense I deal with fake lottery tickets every day. This is with those Nigerian email scams, which have such a warm tone with how they befriend me. If only I could receive like communications from "real" people!
As for the Martin twins, I'm sure April Fool's Day remains vibrant and relevant for them.
Love ya!
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com

A rebellion that grew with an order of toast?

I recently posted on how many boundaries have come down in our society. These are boundaries that seem largely arbitrary in their origin or with underpinnings that have no application today.
I wrote about the line drawn between breakfast and later meals in the day, with restaurants thinking it strange if you inquired about a breakfast item after, say, 10:30 a.m. This line is still drawn in some places, probably for reasons of practicality more than anything else, but in many restaurants the breakfast menu is full-go all the time. At least the waitress doesn't wrinkle her forward in reaction.
Think this is a trivial example? Think back to the movie "Five Easy Pieces" in which Jack Nicholson as "Bobby" reacts to a ridiculous menu restriction at a roadside restaurant. All he wanted was a side order of toast with breakfast.
He was told "no, toast isn't offered as a side item." It defied logic and common sense. Bobby got belligerent and his group was eventually asked to leave. The movie was deemed culturally significant and is in the National Film Registry. Young people today would scratch their heads trying to realize the symbolism of the restaurant scene, I suspect. Us "boomers" were there, and we know.
In my earlier post I wrote about how women cosmetologists didn't cut men's hair. Hey, this was an actual law at one time! The archaic framework of rules and expectations, of which this law is strikingly symbolic, might be one reason the hippie culture rose up. This generation spoke up and said "do your own thing."
We talked about peace and love but what we really wanted was freedom and liberation. None of those forward steps was without some resistance. I'm sure there were those, who I suspect were conservative and Republican, who felt there was no need to implement full-bore girls and women's athletic programs in schools - on a par with men.
I could add that some cultural boundaries are defensible, like maybe a prohibition on Republicans attending lesbian/bondage nightclubs on party funds.
We accept the loosened boundaries today as if there could never be an issue about it. But there were definitely barriers years ago. Chris Voelz at the University of Minnesota was a women's administrator who gave no quarter and became controversial because of it.
Us boomers flip through pages of a 1950s or '60s high school yearbook, perhaps while waiting to see the dentist, looking at those photos which in our vernacular we'd call "dorky," and look with wonderment at how "girls athletics" was represented then. Typically you'll see a group of girls posed on some gym bleachers with the headline "G.A.A."
Girls Athletic Association. . . The only real evidence I've ever come across of that group's existence is those old group photos. I don't remember it functioning in reality. Of course, girls could always be "candy stripers." Today, girls are full-fledged in an array of sports and getting attention in the media that isn't merely bestowed as a courtesy or out of political correctness. I make the point this way because girls/women's sports did go through a novelty phase. Call it a growing pain.
It was definitely a pain because these athletes were starting from the bottom rung - sort of like learning to speak a new language as an adult. The capability was there but the usual building blocks (from a young age and with intense discipline) weren't in place. People in the "old media" could actually get annoyed (though they only cautiously expressed this) by demands for "equal coverage."
I'm sure that coverage was only grudgingly given sometimes. Whispers among these media people at the local watering hole could be condescending or worse. Newspapers have a finite amount of sports section space. The idea of bestowing "equal coverage" thus had practical limitations.
A constant theme in my writing is "Who gives a damn about the old media?" So pondering the challenges of old media institutions is sort of like looking at those old "dorky" photos. I'm so relieved not to be a "dork" anymore and now to be writing in the new media.
When I was in high school music, oh boy, there were boundaries and limitations there too. This gives me an excuse to write about an old friend of mine, Joan Force, because she was a pioneer as a prep musician. She's a lifelong Iowan and today plays in the Eastern Iowa Brass Band. What makes her special? She plays the trumpet. In high school she not only played in the male-dominated trumpet section, she was a strong and superior trumpet player.
Girls in those days flocked to the flute and clarinet sections. The few who tried brass might be expected to sit relatively deep in the section. The idea of a "first chair" female trumpet player might have been seen in the same category as a woman cutting hair. Remember, against the law!
Today the musical universe is just as liberated as sports. I frown when I realize that young people today probably take it all for granted. They should know that the celebrated "hippie phase" of their elders was about so much more than tastes with hair, attire and music.
All of those things were a "shot across the bow" toward our own elders, whom we felt had tried to force us into a world that was too confining and suffocating. We talked about "peace and love" but on a practical level we were demanding an end to the military draft. Really we just thought war needed to be pushed aside. Our elders couldn't sell us on the idea of communism being a bogeyman, or the triumphalist destiny (i.e. innate superiority) of the west.
Chris Matthews of MSNBC constantly cites the military draft as the common thread among so much of the cultural tumult instigated by the boomers when young. Today's young people should contemplate what it would really be like growing up in an America where young men would get the "greetings" letter from Uncle Sam, compelling them to take up a rifle and perhaps get killed in some jungle across the globe. That's the America I observed through adolescence.
I was a "media junkie" so it all sunk in pretty good. I was a bit too young to have to worry about the draft as a practical matter. I remember Nelson Rockefeller, considered the leader of the moderate (read reasonable) faction of the Republican Party, giving a celebrated speech proposing a "lottery" as a means of addressing the draft. Mr. Rockefeller could have taken that lottery proposal, along with the draft itself, and done something as suggested by a character in the original "Bad News Bears" movie: "Put it where the sun never shines."
The draft abated, women started cutting men's hair, restaurants served breakfast after noon and girls starting making three-point shots in basketball. What an enlightened new world.
Joan Force continues playing the trumpet with elan and flair in the Eastern Iowa Brass Band (typically abbreviated to EIBB). She's a resident of Marion, Iowa, a companion community to Cedar Rapids. She took only a one-year hiatus from the EIBB since she joined in 1986, and I suspect the hiatus was connected to her divorce, after which she took back her maiden name which is "Force." We all had female friends in our youth with whom we'll always associate their maiden names.
Joan began playing the trumpet from the get-go in fifth grade. She grew up in Cedar Falls and has a B.A. Degree in Music Education from the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls. But education hasn't been her career. She's a "professional organizer" today who deals a lot with "decluttering," especially for senior citizens who are in the process of moving to a smaller place, or senior citizens who lack close family around them to assist with such transition issues.
What a perfect calling for a baby boomer whose generation is noteworthy for, among many other things, having parents living especially long and presenting aging issues that require a special brand of attention.
Hats off to brass devotee Joan Force, musical pioneer and dynamic individual.
Now I think I'll go push some bread into the toaster.
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com

"Time" for a new blockbuster movie?

"Hot Tub Time Machine" is a new entry in an old movie genre - time travel - which has had a bumpy road. I haven't seen it, but I suspect it's one of those lighter attempts at representing time travel.
This is the approach most liked by iconic film critic Roger Ebert, with whom I often agree. Perhaps I don't on this point, because I think the serious time travel movies have potential which is as-yet unmined.
The late writing genius Michael Crichton probed the concept seriously. Too bad the Crichton book "Timeline" didn't yield the same kind of movie success as "Jurassic Park."
Crichton was considered to have the golden touch after "Jurassic." The movie industry is like that, looking with awe at any blockbuster movie and then trying to ape whatever appeared to inspire that movie. So we got a subsequent movie on a Crichton book, "Congo," which of course didn't have that magic.
Because, a true blockbuster in the movie industry is really like catching lightning in a bottle. Actually the insiders all know that. But they're always groping and figure that if they can latch onto something like Crichton's storytelling prowess, maybe they'll be onto something. A gravy train.
Even though they know the realities, it's a risk-averse industry.
An exact parallel is when a major league baseball team hires a new manager whose previous gig was as a third base coach (i.e. glorified caddy) for a team that just won the world championship. The team figures "this guy must know something about winning." Well, he does know how to cash the check for his World Series share.
The Minnesota Twins once hired Ray Miller along these lines, demonstrating merit behind "The Peter Principle." Make no mistake, Miller is competent. But he's a pitching coach.
There is no blueprint for a blockbuster movie or any blockbuster creative work for that matter.
The movie "Titanic" definitely caught that "lightning in a bottle" and became a sensation beyond what any reasonable person would expect. It had elements that mesmerized adolescent girls.
The subsequent movie "Pearl Harbor," which I eagerly went to see on its opening weekend, appeared to be crafted in exactly the same way - painstakingly, as if to catch that "lightning" again.
But there was no lightning for the new "Pearl," or even moderate thunder. Technically it seemed well made. But today it appears to take a back seat to the 1960s Pearl Harbor movie "Tora Tora Tora," made before CGIs (computer generated images).
"Tora" and its sequel "Midway" show up often on the cable TV movie channels.
The movie "Pearl Harbor," made on a grand scale almost remindful of "Gone With the Wind," seems relegated to the dust bin by comparison. Right in there with "Cleopatra" (Elizabeth Taylor), which almost sank a Hollywood studio such was the scale of its failure.
So if you need some consolation dealing with some of the failures that life dishes out, keep in mind those Hollywood professionals who can be so woefully off the mark (e.g. Michael Myers with "The Love Guru").
"Hooray for Hollywood" for reflecting the human condition!

Crichton story had potential
The movie "Timeline," based on the Crichton book of the same name, was tailor made for sequels because of the whole premise: time travel. If the movie is a smash, get the gang of actors back together and just go back to another time period. (But please, not the early 1970s!)
"Timeline" the movie got lukewarm reviews but I liked it. It provided a real glimpse into the Middle Ages and intrigued us on the possibility of actually going back to an era like that and sampling it.
Yes, there was conflict and killing. (What, in the movies?)
But "Titanic" was a smash even though we know what the disastrous ending will be all along: lifeless bodies white as sheets bobbing in the water. And young people flocked to that flick over and over. It must drive an industry insider to drink. (That's a non-P.C. reference so let's say the insider would see his therapist.)
Crichton's book was a page-turner for roughly the first half but it strangely lost steam as you approached what should have been the climax. I felt that a good "payoff" at the end, with a special wrinkle, would redeem the book. It didn't happen.
Crichton was a genius but maybe he was in a hurry to turn this book out. I was engrossed in this book at the same time as a co-worker of mine, Lynn Klyve. I would always want to reminisce on that with her. She has left Morris for the "big city" while yours truly stays in Mayberry. It would be neat to see her again someday.
Let's step into our imaginary time machine and explore an earlier time travel story. The movie "The Time Machine," made in the 1950s, was successful. It had those "Morlock" characters that exuded creepiness to the point that a young movie watcher might want to keep the light on in the bedroom for a few nights.
"The Time Machine" was in a group of movies that baby boomers were more likely to get familiar with through television (e.g. NBC's Saturday Night at the Movies) than at the theater.
Others in this group were "The Day the Earth Stood Still" (in which the giant robot instilled fear just like the Morlocks) and "The Lost World," a dinosaur-themed movie fascinating because of the risky special effects: small lizards filmed in such a way as to make them seem giant.
It was risky because moviegoers might well just think it was ridiculous. But it seemed to work, and this was shown often as a TV feature through the years.
Celebrated reviewer Ebert, who himself caught "lighting in a bottle" by getting on TV at just the right time, with just the right kind of movie review show, wasn't enthused about the movie "Timeline." Time travel movies bothered him, he said, because of the unavoidable problems of logic they present. Crichton actually talked about this issue in his book.
Ebert might ask: "If I could actually go back in time, couldn't I just warn people about the impending attack at Pearl Harbor, for example, and change history?"
Crichton said the major forces of history were too massive and powerful for any one person to change. A person suddenly showing up, waving arms and claiming something like this, would probably just be dismissed, or worse get viewed with suspicion.
Crichton also said it was extremely risky for his time travel characters to even step out of their travel capsules. And it wasn't just because of the major forces of history they might encounter. The minor stuff, stuff you'd probably never imagine, could trip you up.
"You just don't belong there," a character was warned.
Indeed, Crichton's characters ended up in a series of calamities and snafus, with one of them being killed just for being suspected of being a Frenchman.
The movie "The Time Machine" had a re-make a few years back that sort of came and went. I watched it on VHS tape and found it to be OK. It was a commendable Hollywood effort that took a chance with no big-name stars.
It toyed with the logic issue too. We learned, for example, that if a loved one died on a certain day due to calamitous circumstances, you couldn't just go back and change that. That person would just die in another way on the same day.
One of "The Time Machine" remake reviews took it to task on special effects, claiming that the movements of the Morlocks (not as scary as in the first movie) were not realistic. I did not find this to be true at all.
Reviewers sometimes grope to say negative things. I think the foundations of that snobbish fraternity (Ebert excluded because he's a regular guy) are crumbling due to the new media.
Time travel movies have been a pretty hit-and-miss proposition. Too much of the latter. One of the "Star Trek" movies succeeded with humor on the subject.
"Timeline" could have captivated us but it seemed to swing and miss. Crichton's imprimatur wasn't enough.
There's still a void there. Hollywood, pay attention. Maybe there's another "Titanic" out there just waiting to be made.
As for "Hot Tub Time Machine," perhaps it's entertaining but not a classic.
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - morris theater mn - bwilly73@yahoo.com

Booze back on the table for U stadium?

Pure principle is unassailable. There ought be no reservations when its well is tapped.

The story I should be telling here is one with the happy ending we can expect when principle is invoked. That ending looks muddy now.
Principle was asserted by the University of Minnesota president last year when the new on-campus football stadium was set to open. That stance left many people glowing as they could assume, presumably, that lesser motivations could be put aside.
The U president seemed unequivocal in announcing a policy for the new Gopher venue. It was greeted as if a breath of fresh air in the eyes of many. It pertained to alcohol policy, where enlightenment (as in eschewing these products) has been making inroads.
Let's look back a little. The boomer generation when young trumpeted principle and pushed aside "materialism" all over the place. Until us boomers aged to the point where we truly had a seat at the economic table and acquired assets. But we have long memories. And we still smile at the triumph of principle.
Today that allegedly narcissistic generation seems as conservative as any preceding it. The boomers have always followed a certain zeitgeist as exemplified by Minnesota politician Norm Coleman (who shifts amoeba-like). True, Minnesota does have two progressive (left of center) U.S. senators. But we have a cookie cutter Fox News governor.
The U of M president is Robert Bruininks. From day 1 since his elevation to the presidency, I've been perplexed at the spelling of his name, as it's impossible to pronounce as spelled.
"Oh, just say 'Brunix,' " an insider might tell me.
Well, then, why doesn't he just spell his name "Brunix?" Like how the spelling of Mao Tse-tung's name was finally modified for simplicity and logic (Tse-tung to Zedong).
Several generations ago my family name was "Williamson," I'm told. The last syllable was dropped, I suspect because it seemed superfluous. It's easier to handle now, like for writing checks etc.
Bruininks' declaration on alcohol last year seemed to have an air of finality. It was as if he trumpeted "we're doing the right thing, now let's proceed."
But as time passes, "stuff happens."
Year 1 is in the history books for the new Gopher football stadium. Was this stadium named in an inspiring way, invoking the name of an iconic public person who gave much to society in his/her life? The way the Hubert Humphrey Metrodome was named? No. Consistent with the ethos and the throbbing of that zeitgeist boomer element, the new stadium was named for an entity that supplied money. We can feel nostalgia but we still prioritize the do-re-mi.
Was this naming entity at least perceived as a benevolent voice beyond mere material aims? I don't think so. The stadium is named for TCF Bank. Stadium boosters immediately began promoting a shorthand way of referring to the place that would fit young people's lexicon: "The Bank." How neat. "The Bank."
But has it caught on? Does this name inspire warm feelings? It seems doubtful, because last fall the lack of student body support for this stadium was so marked, the Star Tribune devoted a front page article to it. What happened?
Lack of support for a shiny new toy like a stadium? I'm dumbfounded. Well, not really. The "comeback" of open air stadiums in Minnesota might eventually lead to consternation. In the meantime, the U of M is scrambling, trying to remedy shortcomings by putting principle aside. And how, exactly, is Bob Bruininks putting his imprimatur on that? His original statement of principle, so applauded in this post thus far, had to do with the alcohol ban throughout the stadium.
The Star Tribune quoted him saying of the ban that "it's the best, most responsible, most principled position we can take."
Mr. "Brunix" was reflecting the direction society was clearly taking with such vices as cigarettes and booze. We've come a long way since we all laughed uproariously at comedian Foster Brooks whose shtick was to behave like a drunk.
Booze is increasingly seen as an aberration rather than as an expected part of our lifestyle. The boomers' elders thought nothing of such vices. We love those people dearly but times change, I think. The March 24 front page of the Star Tribune revealed an unfortunate cynical turn in the University's stance about the stadium's alcohol policy.
It seems nothing is official yet but the camel's nose is in the tent. Why, oh why, would the U even consider a reversal on a matter where the asserting of what's right once seemed so refreshing. What could possibly cause this?
Money.
I would suggest that the stadium's apparent shortcomings to date are not based on the alcohol ban. And heaven help us if they are. They are based on the failed thinking that contributed to the push to get TCF Bank Stadium built in the first place. We felt nostalgic about a "return" to open air big-time sports, even though this is Minnesota and we have some, er, complications with our weather. The U was actually lucky from a weather standpoint in its first season at "The Bank." And still there was a void with student body support.
Should we cite a tepid performance by the Gophers? Nothing new there. It has been the norm throughout the adult years of the boomers, a generation which here has attached itself most decidedly to the NFL's Vikings. The Gophers have been the red-haired stepchild.
When my father attended the University - he's a 1938 graduate - the Gophers were totally big-time. They played at the now-razed Memorial Stadium, a quite fine facility built like a brick, well, like a brick football stadium. I'm sure that edifice would have needed only some internal refurbishing (like Williams Arena).
But no, we tore it down. Because promoters of the proposed Metrodome felt the Gophers would benefit oh so much. Then-coach Joe Salem was a visible advocate of the Dome. The bottom fell out of his program and he moseyed on down the road. Remember that Nebraska game (like covering your head with mortar shells coming down)?
Listening to an incumbent coach on anything is pure folly. They're here today and gone tomorrow. We listened to Lou Holtz when he recommended John Gutekunst as his successor in Gophers football. Harvey Mackay once wrote an entire chapter in a book on how you must never listen to an outgoing outstanding individual on who should succeed him/her. Because subconsciously at least these departing people don't want the successor to set the world on fire. Did Gutekunst set the world on fire?
Current coach Tim Brewster is hardly making waves competitively either. The Gophers were lucky to beat South Dakota State last season. And the Gophers lost to North Dakota State the season before. If we start falling behind the Dakotas in Division I football we're in trouble. Why can't St. Cloud State University, my alma mater, be built up to that level? Wouldn't it be great to have a strong in-state Division I football rivalry? Many states have this but we never have. Wouldn't it build interest in college football?
St. Cloud State has a still-new stadium where I attended a game once, in 2006. It's a larger version of our local Big Cat Field. These new stadiums are designed for serious football watchers with the idea being to just park your rear end on a (hard) bleacher seat and watch football. The old Selke Field in St. Cloud was like our old Coombe Field in Morris, with a much more informal air and with throngs of fans ringing the periphery, wandering at will and socializing almost to the exclusion of watching the game.
Did stadium designers suddenly feel these people were unimportant? Apparently so. Big Cat Field has had trouble attracting Tiger football fans in the number desired. I know because on the night of every home game, I take a gander from a vantage point to the east. I don't pay to get in but I ride my bike out to that general vicinity - very quiet, expansive and peaceful.
I make these excursions perhaps because I want to have my prediction affirmed that high school football would lose its luster at this location. And it has, but not for the late-stage high school playoff games overseen by the Minnesota High School League. Those late-stage games command attention just for the significance of the games. Parking your butt and watching them is justified.
It's harder to sell the regular season games of the Morris Area Tigers. And it's woeful that the MAHS pep band makes such rare appearances there. It's inexcusable really, and you'd think a few upperclassmen could at least organize a musical effort, which the fans would appreciate so much.
This community invested so much in getting the new school and Big Cat Field put up (for better or worse, likely the latter), we should be pulling out all stops, like insisting that a band play for Tiger games - all of them. But this community doesn't always follow the right script. Or zeitgeist. We had a county commissioner state publicly, in the wake of the horrible jail controversy, that he's glad none of his children live or work in Stevens County. Maybe this is the Twilight Zone.
"Booze" isn't even on the table for our local prep football games, naturally. Because those fans lack the needed "maturity?" LOL on that. . .
Why should the U of M even weigh the booze option now, no matter how much money is on the table? I'd laugh but Foster Brooks isn't funny anymore.
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com

More thoughts on Morris Theater, its future

Del Sarlette recently suggested that I didn't cover near enough ground reminiscing about the Morris Theater. Of course I appreciate attracting his eyeballs. And anyone else's.
How will this "sequel" post do? I hope better than "Grease 2." Sid Caesar says he doesn't even remember being involved in that movie. He has chemical abuse excuses which is a convenient thing to have when you've been involved in a cimematic trainwreck.
Ah, our local cinema: Mention the Morris Theater to anyone who grew up here and I'm sure they can instantly visualize the whole place. Maybe even smell the popcorn.
Every town has some oddball artwork in a few places and the theater is an example here. There's some art off to the side on both sides of the screen that I never understood, not that I'm knocking art. Art is of course notorious for defying understanding. The fact that I'm writing about this is probably a hats-off to the theater and its artistic wrinkle.
Most of all I'm curious whether other patrons through the years have seen an apparent (to me) "face" in those colorful swishes. I have never brought this up with anyone. Maybe Mr. Sarlette has had the like impression, I don't know.
That artwork is a defining twist for our aged theater in an age in which new theaters are built in cookie cutter fashion. When I was a kid our Morris Theater seemed perfectly current and acceptable. Today I use the the word "reminisce" (as in the opening sentence) in connection with the theater, as if the past tense is appropriate. For all practical purposes it may well be.
The theater is being kept alive in "bailout" fashion - a word I used in kicking off my previous theater post. Another reader (besides Del) suggested after reading that post that my feelings were overly conflicted - that I wasn't prepared to assert whether the old theater should be kept alive.
Indeed there is a lot "conflicted" in our community now. Do we believe in lawbreaking? I hope not, but there has been such a chorus of voices coming out on behalf of those brothers in the construction industry, brothers who - let's face it - did some no no's (and by their own admission, er, confession).
We seem to at least be overly expedient in addressing that untidy subject.
Other adversity has cropped up - the Coborn's closing, to name a notable one.
The Morris newspaper has basically been cut in half in terms of the kind of content that people presumably want in a paper: interesting reading material and not piles of ready-for-the-dumpster ad circulars (with many circulars promoting out-of-town commerce).
I doubt that our print newspaper will ever be the focus of the kind of bailout that resuscitated the Morris Theater. There is no harm done keeping the theater going. As for all the paper thrust at us through the absentee-owned newspaper and its "shopper" (Ad-viser), I don't believe the same can be said, not in our new green-conscious era.
Was I too conflicted when assessing the Morris Theater recently? The Cliff's Notes version of that post might be: "The Morris Theater appears to be our only option for continuing to get current movies in town, but aesthetically it has many issues."
I would have to know the movie business better to suggest whether a better option is practical. Aesthetically the movie watching experience is superior at the First Lutheran Church movie room. This is a converted Sunday school room by comparison to our specially designed theater which came on the scene in about 1940. There was deserved fanfare at that time.
Change is befuddling. Change is fundamentally why I ended up unemployed well before I could ponder legitimate retirement. But the job market has been unkind to a great many people. The "creative destruction" process of capitalism is healthy but unnerving.
Pondering that "destruction," here's a question: Has the "twin" theater gone the way of 8-track tapes?
My impression is that theaters today fall into two categories: 1) relics like what we see in Morris and in Paynesville, the latter being a clone of our theater (without the art, I think); and 2) the multi-screen (as in 7 or 8) cineplexes. Leave it to Alexandria to have an example of the current norm.
(I saw the original Austin Powers movie at the Paynesville relic.)
Alex's Midway Cinema (fill in the number) has grown so fast I called them about three years ago because I couldn't find their website listed in a Yahoo search - a glitch that turned out to be related to their growth (with the number hiked up).
I called them for one other reason: to inquire if the movie "W," the oddball biopic about George W. Bush, was coming. It's incredible, but not all well-known movies even make it to Alexandria. When I called, I got some inside-baseball answer indicating that "W" might not make it. I believe this Oliver Stone movie never made it "out here." Despite high-profile promotion. . .
I was only half-teasing when I asked the person on the other end of this call whether political reasons were involved (in not having it on the upcoming calendar). She readily answered "no." At the time I thought Stone's intentions were to pull the mask off President Bush and reveal him for his deficiencies. But I later learned that the movie had more of a measured, timid tone. It was "oddball" because of its reliance on flashbacks.
I never saw it but I read about it. A friend who watched it on DVD indicated that the flashbacks could be distracting and confusing. A confused movie about a confused man, I might surmise.
Maybe Stone would have had more "balls" making this movie if it was after the financial collapse.
Flashback to the '70s: I saw the movie "Jaws" at a twin theater in St. Cloud. I saw the movie "Star Wars" at a twin theater in Brainerd. The St. Cloud theater, where I also sat through "All the President's Men" twice the same night, has been razed. I don't know about Brainerd.
I suspect the "twin" theaters have given way to the 8 or 9-screen establishments, where one can end up in quite small rooms to see a movie. No problem, as I've learned.
I hope pure nostalgia isn't behind the push to keep the Morris Theater going. Even though all Morris natives can embrace tremendously warm memories of that place, we must recognize that it probably belongs in the dust bin of history.
Boomers will remember Bob Collins as proprietor for an extended time. Those memories aren't warm for men who may have been rambunctious in those theater seats as boys.
Collins was of course just being a responsible business owner. But he applied discipline like a stern fourth grade teacher. If a group of boys - it was always boys - were too hyper and distracting for the other patrons, Collins would take care of the situation decisively, coming down the aisle with that notorious flashlight.
A misbehaving boy wasn't likely to engage in that behavior again.
Toward the end of the Collins chapter there were definitely issues at the theater, the most notorious being your shoes sticking to the floor as you walked in and out. This was in the late 1970s and early '80s when there were a lot of deficiencies in America. Maybe that stickiness could just be attributed to the Jimmy Carter-induced "malaise."
By the late 1990s, when Curt Barber was proprietor (its last as a private venture), I was seeing movies at the Morris Theater mainly as a means of relaxing. I didn't hold out very high standards for the experience. Many of the movies were supreme letdowns, like "The Village," "Coach Carter" (two hours of rap music?), "8 Below" (a dog movie that couldn't have been made by a dog lover) and "Because of Winn-Dixie" (a dog movie that must have seemed great on paper but just failed miserably, despite Jeff Daniels).
The marquee sign out front shows the wear and tear of its existence.
I remember when as a kid, one of my peers, reportedly Bruce Christiansen, did some part-time work there and was able to pull off a prank: putting some school gossip on the marquee just long enough to step back and take a photo.
Bruce is the son of Lyle who has developed a passion for trying to prove his late brother Kenny was D.B. Cooper. So this is a family with no inhibitions - quite admirable to an extent.
Would this community be comfortable seeing "Morris Community Church" on the theater marquee? In other words, stepping aside to let the somewhat nomadic and fundamentalist church finally get a permanent home?
This was an idea that was bandied about when Mr. Barber let go of the theater. Its future was in limbo.
First of all, the idea of a church taking over an abandoned building in the "business district" (whatever that is nowadays) is the sort of thing which, justified or not, suggests "blight"
I have a better idea: Let's just have one ELCA Lutheran church in town - there's no excuse having two - and whichever of their buildings gets abandoned could be taken over by those great Morris Community Church people.
Having two ELCA churches, besides being excessive, encourages unnecessary competition. A fellow First Lutheran member told me once that their celebrated "New Wine" youth traveling group was good for "recruiting" new members.
"Recruiting" is a cynical term to use in connection with a church, an institution that ought to simply provide an inspiring experience for all who enter. The Synod should just step in.
I don't know what Morris will look like in 50 years, but I suspect there will be some kind of new theater experience, in a smaller setting, and fewer churches, helping the faithful build efficiency with resources.
And the newspaper? What's a newspaper?
Newspapers are dying because the commodity they sell - information - is becoming, with each passing day, free on the Internet. I mentioned this to friend Brent Waddell this morning at McDonald's and his response was: "Maybe they should get together with the bottled water people."
Rimshot.
But we will always need movies.
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - morris theater mn - bwilly73@yahoo.com