With apologies to Bernie. . .

Bernard Goldberg

I remember Bernard Goldberg writing about his first foray into writing a book, staring at that "blank page" on his computer screen and feeling humbled - ironic since he was a professional journalist.
Being a writer in one field doesn't necessarily make for an easy transition to another. Goldberg felt that the only thing harder than a book might be to "give birth to triplets," although by definition he could only speculate.
Goldberg was once a stalwart in the broadcast network news when that institution was in its arrogant heyday. He kept his conservative political leanings fairly private in those days, but he has now shaken off all inhibitions. To the extent that his first book - the fruit of that "giving birth" type of challenge - was a venting of frustration about the orthodoxy of liberal political thinking that surrounded him in his network career. . .
Bernie's book was called "Bias." It's an important and seminal work. Since then, sad to say, the somewhat curmudgeonly Bernie has become a caricature of himself, railing about the "liberal media" long after the media beast itself has splintered up so much that there really is no "orthodoxy" any more.
Bernie has written a couple of "spinoff" books, neither with the "childbirth" inspiration of the first, and I'm happy for the money he has made. I'd be happier if he would go his own way and cease being a sycophantic guest on Fox News TV shows. But hey, he has to pay the bills.
I like Bernie at a fundamental level but I'd find him more appealing if he'd stop sharing the screen with Bill O'Reilly, that crazed, manipulative buffoon who caters to a paranoid audience nightly.
Is the antidote to watch Keith Olbermann on MSNBC? No, I'd say the solution is to watch CNN's Campbell Brown. She's a voice of moderation between zelous camps, and an attractive woman too (if I may risk un-PC thought).
So, our pal Bernie is now initiated into the world of book authorship. There's a parallel in my own "scribe" background, in which I tried parlaying whatever journalistic talent I had into. . .songwriting? Why would I want to? Is this like Mallory said of Everest, "because it's there?" Well, maybe not, because who would want to end up like Mallory, whose body is still pretty well-preserved in that bleak place where he met his foreseeable fate.
I want to write songs because I'm fascinated first of all with the intrinsic artistic component, and secondly by the sheer power of popular songs to become fixed in people's minds. I'm fascinated that such incredibly simple creations like "Tiny Bubbles" and "Please Release Me" can be hummed or sung by people coast to coast (or in Bangkok) years after some fool first imagined the melody and words, perhaps scribbling hurriedly on a bar napkin or back of a receipt. Imagine such power! Such immortality?
But it's really more than power, it's value. These songs help people find relaxation and contentment as an escape from the daily grind. It's beautiful.
I've discovered most vividly that the simplicity of songs just cited hardly makes them easy to write. I once heard country singer Doug Stone say in a radio interview that "first you have to write 200 songs (to develop the craft) and then maybe, MAYBE you'll write a good one."
Again I'm reminded of Bernie's "childbirth" analogy. I can't give birth to triplets but I can make a stab at songwriting. Since Christmas is just past, I'll share here a Christmas song (lyrics) I penned: "Look Around and You'll Know It's Christmastime." Any poet should make a stab at this. Morris Area school board member Laura Carrington pens poetry and might find this an uplifting outlet.
The verse for my "Look Around" has a melody with a chord progression like the George Strait song "Amarillo by Morning," and in the chorus the chords mirror the Helen Reddy '70s classic "Keep On Singin', Don't Stop Singin', You're Gonna be a Star Someday. . ."
Interestingly, the song title doesn't appear in the chorus - an unusual characteristic and hopefully not a cardinal sin. And yes, the lyrics might seem a bit cheesy and cliched, with perhaps a wee bit of theft of intellectual property here and there. But I like it!
"Look Around and You'll Know It's Christmastime. . ."

All the tinsel's up around the tree
LOOK AROUND AND YOU'LL KNOW IT'S CHRISTMASTIME
And the kids have been on Santa's knee
Ho ho ho they all live for Christmastime
And they know that he will soon be in the air
Flying swiftly in his sleigh
Doesn't matter if they're near or far
They know he'll find the way

There are presents lying on the floor
LOOK AROUND AND YOU'LL KNOW IT'S CHRISTMASTIME
And the carolers are at the door
Fa la la they proclaim it's Christmastime
And the carols have a message touching all
From the peasants to the king
Jesus Christ is born in Bethlehem
So let's join in and sing

(chorus)
Say Merry Christmas to all that you know
For it's the grandest time of year
And in the eyes of the little ones
It shimmers crystal clear
Say Merry Christmas it softens the heart
And makes the soul stand proud and tall
So say it loud say it all around
And have the greatest Christmas of all

There's a steaming pot of oyster stew
LOOK AROUND AND YOU'LL KNOW IT'S CHRISTMASTIME
And a treasure trove of things to do
Deck the halls 'cause it's almost Christmastime
It's a sentimental journey every year
To a place of inner peace
Watch the spirit of the season come
To every man and beast

(repeat chorus)
-Brian Williams - Morris Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com