Shorty's, the Del Monico and "The Little Man"

This post is about dining out but I'll begin with a little background: Springtime brings a heightened awareness of one's fitness, or rather, shortcomings in that regard. There are excuses to be sedentary through the long Minnesota winter. One can get neglectful of that "spare tire."
Now, with the rapidly receding snowdrifts, the (regrettable) news flashes about flooding in the Fargo area, and daylight savings time, the alarm bell rings for accenting one's fitness. This calls for some deprivation.
Fewer calories, to the extent one can withstand this. . .
The sacrifices actually make you appreciate and salivate over a rich meal more. So, I'm in the mood for reminiscing about old dining establishments in Morris.
Earlier this week I posted a reflective piece about the Morris Theater. Fewer and fewer Morris residents remember there was once a diner located smack-dab next to the theater. Boomers will remember it as Shorty's Cafe. I believe it had other names prior to that. There was nothing distinctive about it, and I mean that as a compliment.
Today we have Chinese and Italian fare that serve as the trademarks for downtown eating places. No disrespect intended, but the All-American main street diner (even if not right on main street) ranks higher for me. We have nothing that fits that exact description today.
DeToy's Restaurant is a fine American-fare establishment but it's a stand-alone building located not right at the heart of main street. Don's Cafe is an old-fashioned diner of the type that travelers on the old "Route 66" might seek out. But it too isn't right on main street.
I would suggest the existence of Shorty's might have even helped the Morris Theater. Shorty's was a magnet for many of the working types in the "business district." I was still in school when I was a customer. I believe they had a pinball machine and a vending machine for the Minneapolis "Star" newspaper.
Bob Foss would make his rounds as a delivery guy for the Star which was the afternoon Minneapolis newspaper. It was very feature-oriented in comparison to the Minneapolis Tribune.
Jim Klobuchar was a "name" writer for the afternoon Star. Today he's the second most famous Klobuchar in Minnesota. I recently discovered his current writing on the Minnpost website. He's still a practitioner of long-form journalism for which the demand is rapidly dwindling.
Jim, if you write something lengthy you'd better have some bombshell things to say.
I remember chatting with Mr. Foss as he dutifully made his rounds with his sack of "Stars." Those were the days of "The Little Man," the term used by Alan Jackson in a song about an earlier time before technology rendered obsolete so many "common" occupations, of which newspaper delivery guy is one. A shame, because so many of these jobs taught basic discipline.
Today you need some polished skills. But I fear a lot of people are going to be left behind. In fact I think it's already happening.
All the more reason to feel nostalgia about the "main street diners" of my youth, a list that obviously includes the old Del Monico. I'm thinking of the Del Monico before it moved to the east side of Atlantic Avenue. The Del Monico that had the Colony Room (the banquet dining area, where Kiwanians among others would meet). . .
In summertime I would ride the bike downtown, lay it down in the grass on the west side of the public library - I usually don't trust kickstands - and then stroll the two blocks to the Del Monico where the crew always knew what I wanted: two hamburgers and a chocolate malt. This was when the understanding of a "hamburger" was that it was the equivalent of what a plain hamburger at McDonald's is today. Not the fancy, higher-calorie stuff.
We never dreamt that Morris would someday have a McDonald's. McDonald's was too "big time." Eventually we got the "Quik Stop" which gave top billing to its "19-cent hamburgers." Remember?
Reflecting on the 19-cent hamburger would seem to call for a lecture from Ron Paul, the noted libertarian and maverick economic thinker. Mr. Paul lectures on the absolute necessity of a "strong currency" and the horrible perils of inflation. He sees the Federal Reserve as a shadowy, dangerous institution with aims not consistent with the welfare of common people.
Mr. Paul might argue that we could still have 19-cent hamburgers today.
We have to pay substantially more for food today, but there is one tiny asterisk to place next to that. Just go to McDonald's here - yes, we finally joined civilization and got one - and observe the soft drink dispenser. Unlimited refills? To this day, this almost blows my mind.
This was unheard of in my youth. If you wanted a little more "pop" (if that's how you referred to soft drinks), you paid for another glass. Also, McDonald's in that earlier era had but one standard size of french fries - relatively small, I might add.
Super sizing? There was no such thing.
"Jumbo" cups for soft drinks? No. Cars today have to be made with cupholders that accommodate the jumbo size. The 1991 Lincoln Town Car in our family doesn't even have a cupholder! Does that tell you something?
Has the average size of a human being gotten bigger in America? If there's any doubt about this, you could check out the size of chairs in the old auditorium of the now-abandoned (unfortunately) school in Morris. Those smaller chairs were actually becoming an issue a long time ago. I once asked someone about the practicality of taking out those old wooden chairs and replacing them.
The answer was that state codes would result in a much reduced seating capacity.
What a shame! I think it's practically a crime for that art deco auditorium to just be sitting there abandoned, crumbling away and apparently with no imminent hope of being put out of its misery with the wrecking ball. I would guess it doesn't help that the Riley Brothers firm is in such tense limbo now.
Ford could pardon Nixon but can the Rileys get a break?
Morris may be declining in just the way that Alan Jackson's "Little Man" is fading into obsolescence.
Bob Foss, where are you?
-Brian Williams - Morris mn Minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com - morris theater mn