Yes, this is one of those occasions where something happening here in Mayberry - I mean, Morris - will get scandal-type attention in the state's main newspaper.
We remember the goalpost incident at UMM, in which a kid got killed. We remember the judge throwing the book at those brothers associated with the local construction company. We remember the Catholic priest whose computer was found to be full of. . .well, you know.
Maybe the current news bombshell will be in Sunday. That's the paper that costs $2.50 now. I wouldn't pay that under any circumstances. The Sunday paper is full of all those advertising circulars. And yet they charge a price that discourages people from buying it. Strange. If I knew what made the newspaper industry tick, I'd still be in it.
The Morris paper is full of ad circulars that push us to spend our disposable income in Alexandria. I know there's discontent about the Morris paper - that's why we have "Morris Area Merchant" as an alternative - but the discontent hasn't spread as much as I would expect.
Today's Morris paper has a headline about the current scandal. I surely won't buy the Morris paper. If "Senior Perspective" can be free of charge, why not the Morris paper?
The radio station website had a more thorough summary of the scandal than the newspaper website. There's no need to buy a newspaper to get informed about the scandal. I'd just be curious how the Star Tribune would approach it, to what degree the coverage would embarrass the community.
I know that when the Riley brothers were sentenced, the Star Tribune surely had coverage that was embarrassing. The headline was "tax cheats defended at home." It was as if we just didn't want to be bothered with following tax laws. Well, nobody wants to follow tax laws. But we just have to.
I don't like the strict enforcement of the seat belt law. The word on the street is that the Morris police have become strict as all get-out enforcing every little thing. I know my heart skips a beat every time I'm out driving and I see a police car. It's not a nice atmosphere in which to live. I'm tempted to just pull over to the curb until the police car is out of sight. But I might be accosted and be asked why I pulled over.
I know if a Morris cop appeared at our front door, I'd immediately lock the door and speak to the person through the window.
We can't even count on the City of Morris to show the spirit of wanting to help the citizenry. Last fall when I informed the city office of a big bloated dead skunk on the south shoulder near Fastenal, they were polite, suggested they weren't sure whose responsibility it was, but would communicate on the matter, and nothing ever happened. Apparently a plow eventually did the job when it was making its usual rounds.
The city could be considerate and apply gravel where you drive upward to get on that highway - the highway in front of Shopko, Pizza Hut and Super 8 etc. When roads get slippery, you have to make a running start to get up on that highway.
The early-morning gang at McDonald's was talking about how you don't dare leave your car running when you dash into a place of business. You'd think here in Mayberry - I mean, Morris - you could dash into a drugstore to leave a prescription bottle needing to be filled, or whatever, but you can't. You can get ticketed, and a cop need only spot you for a second, as a "scofflaw," and you've got a ticket and you have to jump through hoops to pay a fine.
Same with seat belt. Police show no discretion. Sometimes when I'm backing out of a parking spot, I crane my neck out the window a little, and this is easier done with the seat belt not on yet. Again, all it takes is being spotted by a cop for a split second.
Annoying as these tickets are, they're nothing compared to the legal trouble in which our high school principal has found himself. I don't know the man. A new generation is taking over leadership positions in Motown. My only impression of him, has been that he doesn't seem to comb his hair very well for when he gets his picture taken.
Looking at his photo on the radio station website, I now think he looks creepy. Of course that's a pre-judgment. Attorney Robert Dalager is reportedly representing this man. I hope ol' Bob doesn't have to resort to the tactics as used by the Lorne Green character in "Peyton Place."
People can get in so much trouble because of sexual urges. Why did God create us this way? Sex seems more trouble than it's worth sometimes. Maybe we really are a hybrid species, a cross between Earth primates and space aliens, and this explains the mysteries.
Sex and alcohol: What could go wrong? Maybe Mike McFeely of KFGO is right, and maybe the time has come to seriously consider outlawing alcohol.
We are so human an animal. There's a million stories in the naked city. The dead of winter seems a special bummer this year. I'll skip saying "happy new year."
- Brian Williams - morris mn minnesota - email@example.com