One day, we here in Morris dealt with such minor things as what kind of water softener we had, whether the UMM softball complex called for upgrading, and whether we had to absolutely have our seat belts on at all times.
Can I assume that now the dark cloud of the pandemic has arrived, the local police aren't so consumed with ticky-tack citations? I mean, we're all pulled into a world now where we focus on the really big issues, the really big questions. Let's put aside the word "existential." I remember in college a rather raging discussion over whether anyone could really explain what the word meant. Now there's a minor issue - solution is to just find other words.
Years ago I heard the theory that extraterrestrials would plant a virus sometimes to thin the population. Or, maybe if they get ticked off for some reason. You have no doubt heard of ETs' connection to Antarctica. So maybe the ETs are upset about the global warming we've caused, as it's reducing the polar ice caps. Less snow and ice to provide cover? They needn't fear us anyway as they possess superior powers. The fear is on our part.
Looking their way, I could quote a cliche type of line from sci-fi movies: "These beings are of obviously superior intelligence." Maybe the line per se was never actually spoken, like "play it again Sam." And General Sherman never actually said "war is hell." It's a paraphrase. My well-received song about the First Minnesota Volunteer Regiment has the title "Take Those Colors," something supposedly said by General Hancock to the regiment during the battle of Gettysburg. It's a paraphrase - so tempting always to arrive at paraphrases which then get accepted as fact.
General Hancock said "See those colors? Well then take them."
The thoughts about ETs, Antarctica and the virus might be expected to come from middle-of-the-night AM radio. It's always entrancing to listen to such stuff. George Noory? When I get weary of listening to this, I might turn to permabear economic commentators. The "gold bugs?" They too are entrancing in a particular way. They are having a field day now with the current circumstances of the pandemic and the apparent shifting of the economic ground underneath us.
The gold bugs can give you a hundred convincing reasons why the stock market is about to crash, then the opposite happens. David Stockman may not be a true gold bug but he has the same kind of track record. He can write a book about economics as thick as the Bible and then he's wrong, wrong, wrong on forecasts.
Based on that, why don't we weigh seriously the theory about extraterrestrials, viruses and population-thinning? Our human species may owe itself to the ETs as we may be a hybrid: aliens and Earth primates.
Avoid the "E" word
Maybe it's "just another day in paradise" here in mid-April of 2020, as we normally get eager for warm weather, in the sense our lives have surely slowed. Also, in the sense we can forget about all the nit-picky things that normally distract. Now we can worry about the short list of big picture items. Existential? Nah, let's back off from that word.
The confinement means many of us are spending far more time with immediate family than usual. I have joked this might be bad. Seriously it can be quite good. In the short term it's manageable because 1) we haven't felt the full effects of the shutdown yet, and 2) the government can bail us all out, at least for a while. Beyond the short term, who the h--- knows what awaits us. Maybe we're at the mercy of the extraterrestrials.
The shutdown has revealed that us hybrids or whatever we are engage in confusing thought patterns. A dude in Traverse County already got legally charged for violating the governor's stay-at-home order. A huge asterisk to be applied here: the guy had other issues with his behavior, let's leave it at that. Government overreach with laws applied as government sees fit.
So, you can't leave your home for any reason, "but if you have to, then you can."
If this virus is truly a killer, why do we so casually apply a "wipe" on the handles of our shopping basket at Willie's? Don't you have to lift the basket up first? If masks are essential, why do some employees of Willie's wear them, others don't? Why does my accountant's office have closed doors at the height of tax season, while at the same time I could enter Town and Country and buy hedge clippers? I haven't been in T & C but I'm told by a neighboring business that it's "essential."
The Apostolics are probably circulating pretty freely, as they are Fox News-oriented people who are fed the idea that the pandemic is overblown, or even if it isn't, it's more important to keep the economy going than to save lives. And then they are "pro-life" also. The ETs must be looking over us with real wonderment sometimes.
I have read over the years that the movie "Jaws" lost legitimacy because the town's mayor was so ridiculously evil, wanting to prioritize business over lives in his tourist place. Man, get real. But in 2020 the movie gains legitimacy because there are Republican politicians who are actually behaving like that, e.g. the governor of Florida. We are so human an animal. Or, a hybrid w/ ETs.
We cannot dine in our favorite restaurant. But you get restaurant food delivered to your car or house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves.
The banks? I do not do drive-through with banks. I park the car and walk up to the drive-up window, which means I might look ridiculous sometimes standing behind a car or two, with the possibility of another pulling up from behind. But that's how I do it.
The bank employee took my check yesterday, then returned a piece of scratch paper with a different paper clip than the one I supplied. Man, do you suppose she was required to remove my clip with plastic gloves? We hear of such measures, but then I went to Willie's, a place that itself is a contradiction to all the practices, and I swear I see from the parking lot, Rob Eul putting some merchandise into a customer's vehicle with the customer standing right next to him.
We can't really blame the ETs for getting a little ticked off at us. Yes, us Earth beings are of obviously inferior intelligence.
Try enjoying the "paradise" for as long as possible. It's not my fault if you wish to keep putting faith in Donald Trump. For some perspective, watch the movie "A Face in the Crowd" with Andy Griffith, pre-Mayberry.
Addendum: I was amused seeing DeToy's Restaurant's plans at the start of all this, requesting that customers "give a description of their vehicle" when calling in for pick-up. It seemed like "Get Smart," the TV comedy. "Buy a newspaper and sit in the lobby." Liz Morrison once advised me "Brian, everything isn't a conspiracy." Well, I grew up influenced by the Cold War.
Addendum #2: Speaking of movie/TV lines that were never spoken per se, let's add "Beam me up Scottie."
- Brian Williams - morris mn minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com
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