When grandparents depart too early

Carrie Williams

How many of you never had the opportunity to meet one or more of your grandparents? Doesn't it sort of gnaw at you - the mystery. Would I feel a true family bond with that person or not? Would it be like oil and water? Or like we're best friends? 

How would grandma or grandpa judge me? My friends know that I'm always worried about people judging me. I have to wonder if I'd click with my grandma Carrie. That's the grandma on my father's side of the family. An air of mystery has always pervaded in my head because I never got to meet her or her husband, my grandpa Martin. 

Martin and Carrie Williams of Glenwood. Actually they lived along the shoreline of Lake Minnewaska outside of town. It was not a lakes recreation type of place. My family could see the old house on many trips to Glenwood. In Glenwood we visited my uncle Howard and his wife Vi. 

My father Ralph and Howard were among five sons of Martin and Carrie Williams. Carrie obviously deserved a medal for guiding five sons to adulthood. This period of time included the Great Depression. It included the John Dillinger gangster period. Dillinger was tracked down and killed in the summer after my father's graduation from high school, 1934. Hardscrabble times for all. 

Martin was a plasterer. He died too young of course, in 1933. Upon seeing the doctor at the onset of symptoms, the doc first responded "how's your soul?" So much less that medical science could do in those days. 

Carrie lived until 1949. She was felled by a stroke. I was born in 1955. So, my father was a Depression kid and I was a boomer kid. Such a huge contrast in the tenor of the times. I was able to grow up with TV. 

The house where the Williams boys grew up is no longer there. I think I could pinpoint the place if I drove to Glenwood. There was a lot of swampy land on the other side of the highway. 

My father got attracted to music and built his professional life around that. There were many elements to it outside of his involvement here at UMM. I think he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. I was not cut out for that. If I were to live life over again, I would want to try the most menial occupation beginning at age 18. Experience normal maturation and development. I can only imagine how this would have gone. A psychologist would have greatly pushed me in that direction. 

 

Haunted, perhaps

I think Martin's death was hard on my father. I had no recollection of ever visiting the cemetery in Glenwood until 2018, shortly after my mom's death. Perhaps Mom didn't want Dad to go out there. Would have made Dad distraught. Dad wasn't yet done with high school when Martin died. I heard it was a painful cancer death. I think it's likely he was exposed to materials in his occupation that led to his cancer. 

Grandma Carrie was age 63 when she died. I have a couple photos on display in my home that show her in her older years. And she looks older than 63. You might know that people tended to look older in long-ago times. So I am reminded of that. But Carrie looks so gentle and loving. 

Martin and Carrie won the highest respect in their community. But I am puzzled by how I heard such little interesting background about their personalities when I was young. I heard good things but no substantive things. No interesting stories. Outside of learning about how and when they died, there was really nothing. 

And then in communicating with my cousin Robert a few years ago, he shared with me the same observation from his perspective. Robert was the son of the oldest of the five sons, Clyde. And Robert told me that his parents never said very much about Martin and Carrie. No stories to give color to their personalities? Well I guess not. 

So I have formed some resolve, in the event I go to heaven when I die, to meet up with Martin and Carrie and really get a feel for them. Oh but my, what would they think of me? Yours truly, an indulged boomer kid who grew up in the late '50s and '60s. Look at it this way: at least I wasn't sent to Vietnam. My father was a lieutenant in the Navy in World War II. That was a necessary war, at least we seem convinced today. I don't know. 

I think Martin was a young man when his services weren't needed for the military. So fortunate. Man, to raise five sons to manhood during the challenged era that included the Great Depression! It inspires awe. But I never could meet him. Neither him nor his wife Carrie. So I have always just wondered. 

The Williams family lived between Starbuck and Glenwood. Howard's big claim to fame as an adult was to be the well-known banking big shot in Glenwood! With Glenwood State Bank. I continue to have accounts there today. I sure hope CD rates can stay reasonably high through the end of this year. Americans have pushed so hard for low interest rates. I guess they need loans. 

As for me, because I grew up in a family so strongly influenced by the Depression, I have always prioritized saving money and I have NO faith in the stock market. We'll see if my attitude is vindicated, won't we. 

I am pleased to share in the remainder of this post the newspaper obituary for my grandmother Carrie who went to her eternal rest in 1949.

 
A large number of relatives and friends of a long-time resident of this community gathered at the Glenwood Lutheran Church Friday afternoon, June 17, at 2 p.m. to pay final tribute to Mrs. Carrie Williams of Glenwood, who passed away early in the morning of Tuesday, June 14, at the Glenwood Hospital, where she had been brought immediately upon suffering a stroke. 

The master monument

The funeral service was conducted by Reverend David J. Quill. Mr. E.M. Wollan sang two solos, "O Morn of Beauty" and "Abide With Me," accompanied by Mrs. Edw. D. Smith at the organ. The church was beautiful by the many lovely floral gifts. Interment was made in the family lot in the Glenwood Lutheran cemetery. 

Casket bearers were Robert Winters, Carrol Savre, Ernest Pederson, Harvey Ellefson, Vernon Hegg and Herman Quist. 

Carrie Avdem was born in Lesja, Gulbandsdalen, Norway, Feb. 17, 1886. Her parents were Hans and Marit Avdem, who pre-deceased her. She was confirmed in the Lutheran faith in 1901 at Lesja Kirke in Norway. In the year 1905, she came to America and settled in Glenwood. She was employed in Glenwood and in Carrington ND prior to her marriage to Martin Williams of Glenwood on May 15, 1908. 

Five sons were born to their union, namely, Clyde of Duluth, a decorator; Howard, cashier of the Glenwood State Bank; Andrew of Minneapolis, who is engaged in construction work; Joseph, shop foreman of the Wright County Journal Press at Buffalo; and Ralph, one of Minnesota's contemporary composers of choral music and a teacher at the St. Paul campus of the University of Minnesota. 

Mr. Williams was a plasterer and mason and the family made its home north of Lake Minnewaska during all the time the boys were growing up, except for about two years when they lived in the city of Glenwood. Mr. Williams passed away June 22, 1933. 

During the last few years, Mrs. Williams did nursing work in Detroit Lakes, Minneapolis and Glenwood. Besides her five sons, she is survived by six sisters and three brothers, all in Norway except Andrew Avdem of Pekin ND. Two sisters preceded her in death. She is also survived by four grandsons and one granddaughter. A second cousin, Mrs. A. Ellefson, also lives in Glenwood. 

Those from a distance who attended the funeral service were Mr. Andrew Avdem of Pekin ND, Mr. and Mrs. Robert Leonard of Minneapolis; Mr. Albin Sather and daughter Norma of Oslo MN. All of the sons of the deceased were also present. 

In her passing, Mrs. Williams leaves among her family and friends memories of many happy times enjoyed in the hospitality of their home.

"Until at last, when earth's day's work is ended,

All meet Thee in the blessed home above,

From whence Thou camest, where Thou has ascended,

Thy everlasting home of peace and love!"

 

- Brian Williams - morris mn minnesota - bwilly73@yahoo.com